Thursday, February 26, 2009

Depression: a Crime, a Mental State, or a Disease?

Be forewarned. This is a very long post! ;)
"Mental health professionals and physicians are careful and deliberate when evaluating their clients for clinical depression. It takes more than just tearfulness or a feeling of sadness on the part of the client to indicate the presence of depression." - Quoted from All About Depression website.
Clinically, depression is diagnosed either based on DSM-IV or the ICD criterion. There's a PDF file to refer to (or download) if you want to know more (or if you're brainier than I am and you think I'm not providing you enough to satisfy your 'thirst of knowledge'). :) Basically, both approaches include 8 similar symptoms for diagnosis of depression:
  1. depressed mood
  2. loss of interest
  3. decrease in energy or increased fatigue
  4. sleep disturbance
  5. appetite disturbance
  6. recurrent thoughts of death <- Related to my discussion.
  7. inability to concentrate or indecisiveness
  8. psychomotor agitation or retardation
The ICD-10 has two additional symptoms:
  • reduced self-esteem or self-confidence
  • ideas of guilt and unworthiness (DSM-IV combines inappropriate or excessive guilt with feelings of worthlessness which is qualitatively more severe than loss of self-confidence or self-esteem)
A combination of symptoms above defines the diagnosis of depression. I think that's enough for an introduction. :D

I was drawn upon a newspaper report about labelling suicide attempt (or rather, a failed attempt, since a successful attempt doesn't need us to prosecute the 'offender' because s/he has died) as an offence. The report refers to the NST news article.

First of all, I must admit that I'm not a law geek. So I do not know many points of law. However, as much as I could gleam from that case, I think as long as if one only think of suicidal thought, even plan it, but not actually execute the plan, you are okay (from the point of law). But if you cross the line, meaning actually attempt suicide or execute the plan to commit suicide, and then failed and get caught, condolences (on your failed attempt, and get caught at that) you have just committed a crime!

Secondly, I admit that I'm not a psychologist or a counselor. So, I don't know a lot of things about what I'm going to write next. However, this is my piece of mind. The law enforcers sometime blind in one eye, they forget the one part of a human! Which part is that? The mind and soul. If the law enforcers believe that the law is to prevent or discourage suicide attempt, they should do a lot of mind and soul searching themselves. As A. Asohan wrote, "You need to spend more time talking to people who have given up on life." Yes, you do, and I don't think suicidal people give a damn about jail term! Interesting article by Asohan, I suggest you to read it.

Well, perhaps they will be ashamed to try it again (because of the publicity), maybe even prevented to attempt another suicide (because of the (improbable and almost impossible) 24/7 monitoring), maybe even stop the suicidal thought (because all they want is out of the world, and perhaps prison can be considered otherworld?), in some case, may even be given counseling or religious guide (I think our current prisons have this. I hope.)...

My friend said to me depression is a state of mind (a bad one). Said who? He, a self-proclaimed positive thinker, no offense intended, ;) definitely thinks too lowly of suicidal people. :( Web definition for State of Mind are:
  • a temporary psychological state <- My friend's view.
  • cognitive state: the state of a person's cognitive processes
I don't deny that state of mind (e.g. negative thinking) do contributes to depression, in fact, the biggest cause for depression (Again, I'm speaking from ignorance of psychology knowledge!), apart from external sources e.g. stressful events (usually involves losses e.g. loss of loved ones, income, hope, health, support, and many other things...) or changes, usually things we couldn't control, or at least almost beyond our control.

It is my belief that not everyone has the privilege to have a solid (and positive) state of mind (or mental state), or grows up in the positive environment, or have caring and supportive family/friends/community, life without any worry, etc... Some barely can eat a meal everyday, many loss their breadwinners and loved ones so sudden that hopelessness overwhelms them, workers find themselves suddenly unemployed because of bad economy or unconsidered employers or even due to act of nature e.g. fire... How much stress can we put on ordinary people to push them over the edge?

Many people are having Major Depression and having suicidal thought but only a smaller percentage actually attempt or even successfully commit suicide. Why is that? My (unfounded) opinion is:
  1. They do not have "good" mental state, always in negative thought, which feeds the depression like pouring oil to a flame.
  2. What makes it worse is no one is able to detect it, or rather, no one really look for it. How can someone look beyond the soul and mind themselves? All we can do is to look for circumstantial evidence e.g. the symptoms mentioned above.
  3. Even worser, we alienated them because of the "unattractive behaviour" as projected from the depressive symptoms.
  4. They, of course, due to their "incompetence" to think for themselves, will reject the people around them and become withdrawn, sort of shut themselves from others who try to reach them.
  5. Not all of us have good upbringing. Children grow up in religious or happy or supportive family certainly less likely to become depressive. If the child is happy, sometime money (or lack of it) may not even be a problem!
  6. Religion somehow gives that extra anchor to the mind and soul making one more adaptable to change and endurable to stress.
  7. The teacher/lecturers giving good and memorable advices and good friends' companionship certainly help.
  8. The community can help, if only most of them will not look to lowly of depressive people, or not care-less, or treat any mental condition as something sinful or dirty or beyond their dignity!
  9. If all beyond our ability to help, the professionals and authority can intervene. No, I don't mean put them in the jail. :) I mean counseling and therapy, to stop the suicide attempt before it starts. And more, they can step up the education about mental health so that everyone will know how to detect or to know how, when and where to get help.
  10. Other things we can do are to remove or at least lessen the source of depression. Sharing certainly lessen the burden (physical and psychological) of the 'unfortunate' ones... The authority has the power to do this, the community too, to some degree, friends and family are the best people to share grief or laughter...
In the end, is it a sin if someone does not have a good mental state, where external influence can drive one over the edge? Is it a sin if someone has "incompetent" mind because of bad mental state, causing one to attempt suicide? An act caused by a condition defined as disease, and an incompetent mind drives one to attempt suicide, is there a crime? I would like to say, if and only if, the suicide attempt might also kill others then it is a crime e.g. kill & suicide. Granted, perhaps her/his mind maybe incompetent/crazy, a kill is a crime but an attempted suicide is a disease gone bad (and need help).

Thank you for reading these crap! :D And please forgive my bad English. :) Cheers! ;)

An accurate diagnosis of a mood disorder such as major depression or bipolar disorder requires a thorough evaluation by a qualified mental health professional. This is a first step towards obtaining appropriate treatment.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Dedicated to my friend, Eli. No, not that Eli. Although perhaps this song maybe somehow related to her ordeal. To both Eli. Let's face the world, your friends (all of us, personal or impersonal) and families (yes, that us too, biological, legal, or tagged as family) will stand with you. ;)

The song "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" (originally by The Platters) is sung by J. D. Souther (from the movie "Always" OST). I consider this the best rendition of this song. Ah, only my personal opinion. ;)

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - J.D. Souther

Lyrics | The Platters - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Friday, February 20, 2009

Passionate Kiss

You have watched this on National Geographic. So, here's the text:
"A passionate kiss will
Burn about 6.4 calories
Use 34 face muscles
Make your heart beat faster
Your breathing deeper
Your pupils dilate
Exchange millions of bacteria
Enough saliva to prevent tooth decay
A kiss
Relieves tension
Slows the ageing process
Boosts self-esteem
It's good for you
Kiss again
Think again"
(Emphasis is mine)

Please, this is NOT a license for you to kiss irresponsibly and indiscriminately! ;) Only kiss your wife/hubby or your loved ones, if s/he consents, and if you don't have dangerous & infectious oral disease! Be a responsible kisser, spread the love, and world peace! :D

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Darwinism and Pervertism (?)

Darwin –– BTW, we’re supposed to celebrate his 200th, er, is it birthday or death day? I forgot actually. –– had never mentioned the word “pervert” in his “Origin of Species,” nor in any of his other publications… The only excuse for me to use the flashy title is because the author of Why Women Think Men are Perverts, Jerry Wilson, related our (ahem, men’s) pervertism to evolution. He wrote:
“The real answer (why man are pervert?) ... lies with evolution. In the earliest history of humankind, it was the male's responsibility to make sure the species was promulgated. It was the man's duty to successfully breed with as many females as possible. He was genetically inclined to reproduce with reckless abandon.” (Text in italic is mine.)
Basically, men are genetically perverted and reckless! o_0 (one eye raised). Female, on other hand:
“… were genetically predisposed to seek out the single male that she thought would give her the best and strongest children. And then, her job was to stay at home and raise her family. This behavior was not something she considered consciously; it was simply pre-programmed in her genes. Genetically, she was not interested in having many partners in rapid succession. She simply wanted the best man to get her pregnant, after which time she would refuse sex until she was ready for her next child. In prehistoric times, it was nature's way of making sure the species survived.”
Meaning what? Women are genetically choosy??? ;) Yes, I have taken him out of context, I know! :)

So, in the end, would you proudly declare that you are a pervert?! Or, that you dare to declare pervertism is normal?! For me: “HELL NO!” :) Perhaps I prefer to be hypocrite than honest... ;) BTW, I don’t appreciate to be compared with an ape. :D Cheers! ;)

P/S: BTW, Jerry Wilson is the owner of Over Coffee blog and the quotes are taken from!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Hello Sunday, and Goodbye, but Stay... (We may, or may not, come again)

"Dear customer, we regret to inform you that HELLO SUNDAY promo ended on 31/12/2008. Stay with XPAX for exciting bonuses to come."
I hate to admit that I probably didn't read the whole T&C regarding Hello Sunday (and here I thought I must have!) but at least they should have told me the promo would end on the mentioned date above.

For you who don't know what I was talking about: Hello Sunday gives free talk minutes to 8pax list on Sunday based on how much credit you use the previous month (e.g. Half minute per RM1 credit usage I think). Well, perhaps it's for the best because HELL SUNDAY, sorry, HELLO SUNDAY has got few problems that irritated me. ;)
  • It was almost impossible to get info/to know how many more free minutes I'd still got.
  • Even if I did get the info, usually it was one day (or two!) too late. Hello Sunday didn't apply on days other than Sunday.
Ah, well, there are still other bonuses for me (I hope):
  1. 8PAX (lower call/SMS rate to 8pax list).
  2. Loyalty bonus (free SMSes to 8pax list).
  3. Birthday bonus (not sure, will unstrike if still got, or if someone tell me they are still exist; free call/SMS to 8pax list for 1 week starting birthday)
  4. ... ... ... (blank)
What else ha? ;)

Are you Right-brainer, or Left-brainer?

Found this from Herald Sun. BTW, the post was October 09, 2007. I was 16 months too late! So, perhaps you have seen this, perhaps not. ;)

THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise [KY: I certainly did not!] though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
risk taking
P/S: I am a Left-brainer according to the test...

Friday, February 13, 2009

To celebrate Valentine, or not...

I’m torn between celebrating Saint Valentine’s Day or not. For reasons not quite so obvious to me:

1. I’m reluctant to spend money just for the sake of celebrating love…
2. I’m reluctant to waste money during these financial difficulty…
3. I hate to ‘invest’ money in something subjective without any benefit… (Whisper: “What do you actually mean by subjective and please define benefit?”)
4. Love is supposed to be celebrated everyday (and I even do it for free)! Why the need of one special day to do it?
5. Look at all those celebrators, they are doing it for fun! (Whisper: “Some do it for love. Really!”)
6. And they are doing it because everyone is doing it! (Whisper: “Everyone? You are exaggerating.”)
7. I’m not even religious! (Whisper: “Valentine is not a religious event.” and I was like, “What???”)
8. I don’t even have The One to celebrate with… sob sob sob… <-- (Whisper: “Loser!”)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

And Death (said), "I choose him..."

Watched Numb3rs today (Janus List episode). Near the end of the show, the Eppes eldest (the father) quoted a poem, which I only remembered something like the topic above. After a little bit of googling, I found the poem, written by Siegfried Sassoon (1886–1967), titled "The Death Bed" from "The Old Huntsman and Other Poems"... Here's the excerpt from Numb3rs:

Light many lamps and gather round his bed.
Lend him your eyes, warm blood, and will to live.
Speak to him; rouse him; you may save him yet.
He’s young; he hated War; how should he die
When cruel old campaigners win safe through?
But death replied: ‘I choose him.’ So he went...

Read the full version here.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Vanity… the would be downfall of my humanity...

The honest answer would be, “Sorry, I’m not a club goer. So, I could not answer your question.” However, due to my egomaniac pride and fear of being looked down, I confabulate, meaning, ‘filling in the blank’ of my (empty) memory with truths and lies/imaginations. Yes, I’m painfully aware that I’m beating around the bush. So, I want to say, I am so sorry I sort of lie to you of how knowledgeable I was when I tried to answer your question, KadazanMan. There, I feel like the weight of the universe had been lifted off my heart… ;)

What? Web-defines Vanity: amour propre: feelings of excessive pride
Who? Pig-headed people; ‘Bodoh-sombong’ people; ‘blinded’ people; delusional people; “Tak nak kalah” people…
When? Losing arguments; felt insulted (sort of all thinking flies away); hormonal imbalance (PMS?); being cornered; etc…
Why? Fear of being looked down; troubled mind; false belief; hormonal imbalance (the cause); etc…

How to avoid?
Acknowledge that you are not perfect or as knowledgeable as or as good as the next person to you; that the others’ thinking are not the same with you; that their conviction are not the same with you; that they may not be willing to change/accept your conviction or belief; and remember that you are just like a speck of dust in the Universe…
Have open mind, forgiving heart, acknowledging differences and accepting differences, acknowledging own limits and inadequacies, then you are okay… ;)

Just a note to myself…

Inspired by Obama’s “I screwed up!” Cheers! ;)

Monday, February 9, 2009

An Eclipsed Chap Goh Mei (Literally!)

I know, I know... Déjà vu you say? It's not really the same topic with "An Eclipsed Chinese New Year (Literally!)". Again, I'm not writing about Chap Goh Mei during these financial difficulty. ;)

Angkasa confirms the event to begin from 8.39 PM tonight (now is 7.01 PM) until past midnight.

The thing that crosses my mind is, we have two events of eclipse. On the first day of CNY we have Solar Eclipse and then at the end of CNY a.k.a. Chap Goh Mei we have Lunar Eclipse! Quite a coincidence, eh?

Cheers! ;)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

What Does My Pizza Say About Me? A Food Snob!

Found this during blog-hopping. Inspired by Jacq's Juz Random Thoughts. ;)
Your Pizza Says You Are a Food Snob
People may tell you that you have a small appetite... but you aren't under eating. You just aren't a pig.

You are a very picky pizza eater. Not any pizza will do. You fit in best in the Northeast part of the US.

Your taste in food tends to favor what's rich and comforting. You prefer food that will definitely satisfy you.

You are dependable, loyal, and conservative with your choices.

You are cultured and intellectual. You should consider traveling to Vienna.

The stereotype that best fits you is redneck. Your friends secretly agree.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Belated Post: CNY and others...

Pix numbers are from left to right.

Pix 1-3: CNY's eve. Family gathering.

Pix 4: My niece, Amber, 5 months old. Pix 5: CNY morning, Amber before bath time (with her parents Henry & Racheal). Pix 6: Amber in her CNY new dress. Pix 7: My 婆婆 popo (grandma).

Pix 8-9: Cousins, still single. ;) Pix 10: My 姑姑 gugu (aunt, father's sister).

I forgot the Jan 28, 2009 event's name. Something to do with award for academic excellence I think. Pix 11: My parents at the backseat. Pix 12: (Pix not clear) MP of Kota Belud, YB Dato' Abdul Rahman Dahlan, giving speech. One of the guest said he was 'chang chi' (long-winded). ;) Pix 13: YB giving interview regarding Najib's statement on "Wing issues" but not shown on TV or newspaper. His 'long-winded' explanation can be simplified as, "No comment!" ;) (No offense to YB because I know he does have a blog) :) Pix 14: The place of the event, DODHA, SRJK (C) Chung Hwa, Kota Belud, Sabah. Pix 15-16: My two brothers were among the recepients of the award (in the form of Angpow). Pix 17: Lion dancers terrorizing the guest (especially children). ;) Pix 18: Cute girls with their no less cute instructors/teachers before their performance. ;) Pix 19: Just next door, a cafe selling 'cooling' beverages, and full of cigarette smokers (not shown). Pix 20: The sign just next to the cafe.

My RM 1 breakfast mini quest in Tawau ;)

This is actually a revisited topic titled "What can you buy with RM 1?" from GregChai's blog. :)
Please note the post was written on Nov 17, 2008. So, I wasn't able to post then (although you may tell me, "Why not post now?"). ;)

(1) (i) Mee/mihun goreng (fried noodle/vercimilli) + (ii) sambal (optional) + (iii) sup kosong + (iv) a glass of iced water at Restoran Selera Tanjung (Fajar Complex, one building with Celcom, corner site). RM1 is the price of (i); (ii), (iii) & (iv) are free.

(2) Fried rice/noodle/vercimilli from stall just outside the Kompleks Cahaya Baru (behind Maybank building) Milimewa Superstore (stall is situated at same building). Also sell few other RM1 'snack' e.g. a skewer of fish balls (6 pieces), 3 pieces of popiah, etc. Open from 9.00 AM (at the latest, I mean late, not new, may open as early as 8.00 AM) to 12 noon (at the earliest, until the food sold out).

Pix 1: The entrepreneur. Pix 2: Fried rice (RM1) and 6 pieces of fishballs (RM1). Pix 3: I like the sweet & sour & hot (spicy) & cold (the temperature) sauce so much that I took the leftover back home. ;)

I'm sure there are many more RM1 breakfast but the ones here are just my favourite. ;) Cheers!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

For Sarawakians only! ;)

My definition for Sarawakian:
(1) Born in Sarawak; and/or
(2) Of Sarawakian parent/s; and/or
(3) Consider self Sarawakian ;)
(4) Commented/shouted by me; OR
(5) Commented/shouted/"punched" me ;)


Deepo (Kopi Sejuk) link
Maria James
Ibankiih (Kirairimbas)
Sue a.k.a. MissBliss (Good Girl Bad Blog)
Chloe Ling

Page will be updated regularly. ;)
Edited: May 16, 2009.

For Sabahans only! ;)

My definition for Sabahan:
(1) Born in Sabah; and/or
(2) Of Sabahan parent/s; and/or
(3) Consider self Sabahan ;)
(4) Commented/shouted by me; OR
(5) Commented/shouted/"punched" me ;)


GregChai (kupi o kaw kaw)
Jacq (Juz Random Thoughts) [she has so many blogs] ;)
KadazanMan (Kadazan Man in New York) link
Carolyn Colyn's Corner
Kay (I am Kay)
Hanah (Hanah is Unpredictable)
D.L. Sumunie (Her Interest & Life Stories)
Cath J (CJ Go Travel)
Clarice (Her Journey)
SuelynJB (My Photo Page)
Angel Bear (Her Thoughts, Words & Life)
Dusun Aroma
C.Alv.B (I'm No One)
Page will be updated regularly!
Edited: May 24, 2009.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Lompat si katak lompat (the song, not the party hopping things) ;)

Try googling "lompat si katak lompat" (jump froggie jump!) ;) and all (okay, 90% then) you'll find are the party hopping discussions/comments! I have no intention to join them. So, here is the lyric of the song:

Lompat si katak lompat,
Lompatlah tinggi-tinggi,
Cepatlah adik cepat,
Cepat bangun pagi-pagi.


Kalau adik malas lagi,
Malas bangun pagi,
La la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la,
Nanti adik rugi.
-End chorus(?)

Lompat si katak lompat,
Lompatlah tinggi-tinggi,
Cepatlah adik cepat,
Cepat bangun pagi-pagi.

Source: AgoraphobiA

You can lengthen the song by repeating with the following poems with some editing to the middle part (chorus?) so the song rhymes:

Lompat si katak lompat
Lompat dalam perigi
Cepat adik cepat
Pergi mandi cuci gigi

Lompat si katak lompat
Lompat di tepi pagar
Sekolah lekas dapat
Dan mesti rajin belajar

Lompat si katak lompat
Lompat di air tenang
Pergi sekolah cermat
Emak bapa hati senang

Lompat si katak lompat
Lompat di rumput muda
Belajar kuat-kuat
Buat ilmu hari tua

Source: Dunia Penyair

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My (narrow-minded & immature) POV on Health Insurance

Thanks to deepo's post, which gives me inspiration to write my post. ;) I just copy my comment there and paste it here. ;) Please read her post to make sense of my post. :)

1. I wonder where "health tourism" fits... ;)
2. In health tourism (HT), you don't need to have health insurance (HI).
3. But if you have one, it'll certainly make your life 'easier'.
4. Of course, HT is only for the richer locals (because usually only private practices provide these) or the poorer tourists (because it costs more in their country).
5. And of course, there are quality HT too. So richer tourist (and locals too) still come here despite the higher cost than their country's...
6. I didn't mean HT as masseurs, health spas, cosmetic surgeries etc. I mean big ones e.g. cardiosurgery, neurosurgery, cancer treatment, organs transplantation etc...
7. My point is there are needs for private health providers, and HI at that (if implemented properly, transparently and doesn't discriminate anyone!).
8. Why? First of all, it's not cheap to train health care people or to setup quality health care (HC) facilities. Secondly, it's hard to keep trained HC people to stay and work on 'non-profit' basis (from capitalist's POV)...
9. It's sad to see many, for examples: doctors and nurses, go over to the private sector because the government 'couldn't provide' enough (salary, benefit?) for them...
10. Yes, blame it on the capitalism but we live (or rather, hide) in the shadows of big time capitalist! BTW, this is only my opinion. ;)
11. And yes! The government may have enough resource to provide free HC for all but they appear to be reluctant to do so (some 'weightier' problems in mind perhaps) ;) So, the next best thing is to take certain percentage from the taxes that the government receives and transformed to become HI, to provide free or partial help to those costly 'rare' treatment/HC...
12. The government has already spent millions in elderly (warga emas) HC (among other). Certainly the rakyat, the ones who can afford at least, can help others by 'investing' in HI, thus relieving some of, er, 'weightier' problems off their minds. :)
13. As Pok Leh has surmised, undoubtedly disgusted and disappointed: "This (the once attempted INSURANS KESIHATAN MALAYSIA) is a business oriented. Makes money while other suffers... It's a crap. Holy feacal matter (the italic part was edited by me ;))" I concur with him, to some extend...
14. I like deepo's respond "if they really want to implement this insurance... middle class income and poor people should get free treatment".
15. I would like to, however, add:
=> All able to do/pay people should invest in HI. The poor/hard to do people are exempted from paying.
=> All Malaysians should get the same benefit (not only the poor/middle class), meaning all 'economically-challenged' people/families will get free HC, sustained by the HI and government allocations.
=> On top of the health benefits, the investors also get some other insurance investment benefits: e.g. premiums albeit perhaps lowest of all insurance; tax exemption etc.
=> The government should protect HI like they protect BSN.
16. I have to stop typing! ;) I have wasted pages for my rubbish opinion! :p Cheers ;)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mumble mumble...

1. Ah, finally! Just came back 3 days ago but computer was down and needed repair. Will update on everything later.
2. Rainy CNY, couldn't see eclipse, no lion dance visit, no girlfriend, err, forget the last one... ;)
3. Bought a Kingston 16GB pendrive for RM95. I wonder if they'll make 128GB by the end of this year...
4. Borrowed a book: "String Theory Demystified"... Theory of everything? Hmm... I wonder if the book can explain how God is tied to the String Theory...
5. Finished watching "Snow Queen" (in 3 days!), a Korean drama about a math genius who stopped hoping because of, er, brotherly love (my brother said "gay" love! LOL), and started hoping again because of love (yeah, boy-girl/man-woman)...
6. Ah, almost forgot, met my niece for the first time. She's 5 months old. ;) For sure she's cuter and prettier than me... :p
7. I would never eat another orange again! My nightmares are full of them! Okay, I exaggerated!